Scintillate

verb: to emit sparks

One thing I was excited about when I visited the United States was seeing the fireworks for the 4th of July. Mind you, we were amid a global pandemic and my coursework was crazy to say the least.

But, this was something I was really looking forward to. I went alone.  I was torn by all the work I had to do but hey, I wouldn’t let the academics steal my joy. I mean it did manage to steal my joy, eventually. But at this point of time, I was ready to put up a fight to scratch this off my list.

I remember I was so overwhelmed by how crowded the square was infront of the Philadelphia Art Museum that day. I went alone and I didn’t get the chance to coordinate with any of my friends as I decided to go on such a short notice. I felt so…stuck. The music playing in the background of Bebe Rexha didn’t help.

I stayed for an hour and then decided that I’d better leave. To my surprise, the road exits were completely blocked.  The officer was telling me I had to stay. Remember the overwhelming feeling I mentioned earlier, hearing that made it worse.

Breathe in.One.Two.Three.Breathe out. Just then, the fireworks went off and it was a marvelous scene. I was smilling.  In a matter of seconds, the overwhem was replaced by awe.

This was even better than what I have imagined it to be when I was still back home. It was worth it. Everything. Being shoved by the callous crowds. The overwhelm. Even, the live performance of Bebe Rexha! It was all worth it.

I was reminded by this day because it resembled what I was feeling today. Today, I felt overwhelmed when I reflected on my year. I felt scared. I also felt stuck. I wanted to remind myself and you-wonderful fellow human-that any second now…any moment, the fireworks will start.

365/365. Happy New Year!